I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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