But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
