The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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