Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I can text with my tongue
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
