By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
