we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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