I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
