A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
