Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
