i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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