all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
