You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
