LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize