Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
