im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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