is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
