chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
