New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
