I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
