do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize