that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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