Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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