Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
