i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
