My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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