somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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