He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
