Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
