I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
