1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
