Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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