i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
