He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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