stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
