Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We got so high we made milksteak
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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