I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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