i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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