That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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