farters have to be the big spoon...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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