Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
