Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
