did you get engaged???
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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