I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
