STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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