i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
