Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
