I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
