i think i have herpe
just one?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
