sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
