The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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