they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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