just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
