Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
