The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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