dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
