2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i now understand why vodka
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
