I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
