I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
