my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
