from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
