I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
