Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
