Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
